Right now much of my attention has turned to finding out information about a woman who I think may have been one foster mother and the woman who was the case worker on my adoption. I have a search angel in WA who has been so helpful and encouraging. She is currently doing a 'city directory' search for both names, so I may be able to find out where they live or phone numbers so I can contact them with questions. I have a phone number list I got from zabasearch on the foster mother. It has about 36 names. But who cares. I can call them and just narrow it down. I'll do the same for the Case worker.
I'm gonna do some calling today. I'll let you all know how it goes.
Dear Adoptive Parents of African American, Black, mixed-Race children -
(and you know what… anyone who isnt black – listen UP)
unless you are involved in a conversation with a black intellectual about the changing nature of self-naming and the black body – or on the same lines – unlesss you are involved in a conversation about the distinctions between 'nigga' and 'nigger' -
its is NOT – I repeat NOT okay for you to say 'nigger'. ever. ever. ever. ever. I dont care if you hear your black children say it. i dont care if you hear 50 million black people say it.
dont freakin say it.
just hold your tounge.
Just when you think that everything is at a standstill. Asyou know from my last entry… I was feelin pretty crappy! and like this search is going nowhere.
but today, i drove down to southern california to spend some time with my family, and my Amom and dad who came down from washington state. My Amom brought me a letter that she found in their safe from the foster mother who took care of me for a while after i was born. There is an address, a full name and a date on the envelope. So – i'm planning on lookin up the foster mother and having an interview with her to see if she remembers anything about me or my situation.
From the lists that I am on, sometimes there is information that the foster care mother/father remembers from the circumstances of adoptions. If she had me for any long period of time, then she probably got alot of the same information, if not more than my parents. BUt who knows if she remembers. It was 35 years ago! BUT – the other thing to think about is that the foster care mother was in TACOMA – where my parents lived. Supposedly i was born in Renton, lived in foster care in Kent and then adopted in Tacoma – but this letter – means something different, unless the foster care mother moved from 1970 to 1971.
This is such a hard process. I'm thankful for adoptees who are adopted nowdays that there are different laws.
Oh yeah – my book is coming out in January. My mom and dad are reading the book as we speak. I hope they dont keel over. I'm just kidding. There's just a couple pieces about being adopted in there. The rest are political.
I think a few entries back I discussed the possibility of someone in WA being able to have an inside to getting my records! well… that turned out to be a dead end. I already knew all of the information that she was able to give me. I'm not sure what she thought that she could do for me, but Ive been doing this for over 10 years now, this search process and I know all the WA state law and the fact that I need a CI. I'm a little frustrated, because I thought we had a bit of an understanding when I talked to her that I was really asking her to see what she could do on the down low. I didnt ask her to break any laws or anything, but sometimes having someone on the inside can open doors (and in my case – I was hoping.. files) that you cant get otherwise. I dont know. But apparently this is how it goes. So I think for right now, the search is at another stand still. Until I get my non-ID from Olympia, (next freakin year!) and until I get back to WA to look through those divorce records.. then there's not alot I can do.
My roommate has helped me begin to look at the school districts in the Renton area, but that is such a freakin long shot. I only have first names, no idea about schools, and only an estimated year of graduatation because I have two different ages documented. (sigh). Well, I suppose this is the search process. and this is what i get for not believeing that WA state law has my best interests at heart – trying to keep me from what is mine.
I'm angry and tired of knowing that those files are just SITTING there, I'm getting older and the chance of my finding them still seems so out of reach. I wish i knew a judge who would write me a letter. I'm angry that the rights of the birth mother are all that seem to matter, what about my freakin right to KNOW? I'm tired of looking at people wondering if they belong to me.
This is bullshit
last night was the premiere of my work in progress "Ungrateful Daughter" at Off-Market Theatre in SF! Man —- after not performing for 4 years.. i think it all came out last night. I feel SO good and so much of what needed to be put out there … was put out there. I didnt miss ANY of my lines and it was GREAT!!
The piece is a piece I've been working on for the past 8 weeks and last nights show was only the first 15 minutes. It touches on the painful and joyful aspects of being transracially adopted. I hope to get some reviews of the piece up soon.
I'm planning on producing the show again soon. But in the East Bay. At some point I hope to travel with the piece and take it to a few places around the country. I hope you all can come!!
Ontario's adoption records bill passes in voteCTV.ca News Staff Ontario has passed a controversial bill to open up adoption records that have been sealed for almost 80 years. With the support of the New Democrats, the governing Liberals' Adoption Information Disclosure Act passed Tuesday afternoon by a wide margin. The Opposition Conservatives opposed the legislation. Ontario has been trying to pass adoption legislation for more than a decade, but previous bills have always been stalled. The province now joins British Columbia, Alberta and Newfoundland, which have already unsealed their adoption records. Those who have fought for years to have the records opened say it will help adoptees and birth parents reunite.
But those who didn't want the records opened say opening the records will violate their right to privacy. The province's Information and Privacy Commissioner, Ann Cavoukian, told CTV's Canada AM earlier this year that she was fine with the bill applying to adoptions in the future, but believed that birth parents in the past who had an understanding of complete privacy should be protected. She fears that the new law will destroy the confidentiality of parents who don't want to be found. Premier Dalton McGuinty stresses the legislation allows people to maintain their privacy should they not want to be contacted. Parents and children, he said, can stipulate that their records be kept sealed and that they not be contacted — provided they can prove to a tribunal that unsealing the records would cause them harm. "We're saying to people, 'You've got a right to know but you don't have the right to a relationship,''' McGuinty told the Canadian Press. "We're confident we've got it right."
Others in favour of open records say such a system will be an improvement on Ontario's current system, the Adoption Disclosure Register. The Register allows adoptees over 18 or adoptive arents to register that they would like to find the birth parents. If the birth parent also registers, the two sides are put into contact. Many have complained that the register system takes too long and that adoptees should have direct access to records. Ontario Social Services Minister Sandra patello notes that the law has provisions so that people can ask not to be contacted. But others are not satisfied, noting that their identities would still be revealed, whether or not they were contacted. The provincial Conservatives didn't like the bill because it failed to include a provision that would allow birth parents to veto disclosure of their records. They note that other provinces that have unsealed their records have included the option of keeping certain records sealed.
Ontario's legislation won't be enacted for another 18 months while the province launches an advertising campaign across Canada and the northeastern United States to inform those impacted by the changes.