Transracial Adoption from one black girl’s perspective

For the Record:

Dear Adoptive Parents of African American, Black, mixed-Race children -

(and you know what… anyone who isnt black – listen UP)

unless you are involved in a conversation with a black intellectual about the changing nature of self-naming and the black body – or on the same lines – unlesss you are involved in a conversation about the distinctions between 'nigga' and 'nigger' -

its is NOT – I repeat NOT okay for you to say 'nigger'. ever. ever. ever. ever. I dont care if you hear your black children say it. i dont care if you hear 50 million black people say it.

dont freakin say it.
just hold your tounge.

7 responses

  1. I just jumped on people at work for saying just that thing. Their excuse is that black people say it all the time. I still don’t like it. I wasn’t raised that way and I don’t want my children raised that way either. They say alot of other things but I am just the new kid on the block so I can’t state too much. Heck for all I know I may be half black or half hispanic. I just find that offensive. That word is such a horrible word. I will add you to my links

    May 25, 2006 at 10:42 am

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    • I was just trying to explain to my son why saying this word is never acceptable. I’m 47, he’s soon to be 20, and we’re white Canadians. This part “if you hear 50 million black people say it” is what I think kept getting in the way. I did a pretty good job but maybe I don’t even know the true reason(s) why it’s so wrong, I just assume that I do. I think to him it was kind of like NOT saying it or being afraid of saying it was racist, if that makes any sense at all.

      February 13, 2010 at 7:59 pm

  4. White Dude Who Wants to be not-Racist

    Hi Lisa Marie,

    I enjoy reading your blog. I find your perspective fascinating (and 99.99% of the time I agree with you completely) and your ideals and efforts admirable.

    I totally agree with you on non-blacks not using the “n” word ever, for any reason. I’m white and growing up in my home, that was one word that was absolutely, unequivocally explained to us as being unacceptable. My father always told me that the only reason the word was created was to try tell a human being that he or she is not a human being. To say it is to be deliberately hurtful. He explained it well to us (there are 4 kids in my fam), and it was necessary for him to do so given that we lived in rural Ohio, where whites and blacks are segregated and racism is still quite prevalent.

    To this day, I can’t bring myself to use the word. It’s worse for me than taking the Lord’s name in vein. Anyway, just thought I’d give you a little hope that maybe some white families really understand that this word should be utterly, at all times, off limits.

    April 5, 2010 at 9:18 pm

  5. I know I’m a bit late but – the N word is not used in our house. I am a 58 year old white woman, married to a 67 year old black man.
    I don’t understand why some black folks would even use that word. When I see the hurt when a racial slur is directed at my husband and he comes home and tells me about it.
    In my family, we were raised to be respectful of all people.
    but disrespectfulness runs rampant in all areas of society. sad.

    January 10, 2011 at 3:07 am

  6. What!? It is almost hard for me to believe anyone uses that word anymore.

    I had a huge problem with anyone ever using any derogatory word for any race (even if they belong to that specific race/ethnicity) up until recently.

    I get trying to take power back because it is, just word.

    At the same time, I’m half middle-eastern, One of my sons is a mixture of many cultures, and my other son is African American. No derogatory words are allowed in my house. EVER. I don’t care if they want to bring all the power back to the word that is aimed against their ethnic background. They can do it when their 18 and out of my house. Because I’m a crazy mama like that.

    October 8, 2011 at 3:14 pm

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