Transracial Adoption from one black girl’s perspective

Black/ Mixed Girl Hair Report

Ahhh black girl hair. I’m experimenting with my hair products.

Again.

I’ve been really happy with and loyal to Aveda’s Be Curly for the past three or four years since I cut my dreadlocks, but I happened on a product called Mixed Chicks, that I decided  to try. I’m trying it mostly to support the company, but to see how it may work for me. Be Curly is gonna be hard to beat tho.

As we’ve discussed before, Black women/ black girls hair is a big deal. So if you are ignoring the biological difference here in hair – its time for corrective action. My suggestions here will work for hair that is fine, but with medium tight curls. Many times this hair texture comes from having a mixed race background. These suggestions will probably not be useful for coarse hair with very tight curls. (Although I can make some suggestions here too cause I twist my friends dreadlocks and my men friends short twists).

I have LOTS of hair, very thick and it gets tangled and starts forming Locks after about a week of not combing/brushing. I dont wash my hair everyday – only once a week or every few days if I HAVE to because of kickboxing. It is important to not over wash black hair because the natural oils keep it healthy, no matter what the texture. I dont even get my hair wet everyday – only if my curls are getting frizzy. I only comb my hair about once a week, when I am in the shower, with conditioner on.

After I get out the shower, I usually squeeze my hair out and then just “scrunch” it with a towel and then wrap my hair in the towel to get out excess water. There are two processes I usually do after that. First, if I have just combed my hair, my curls are usually not ‘defined’ and so sometimes I wear braids/twists/ or pony tail buns for a day. If I choose to do the braids/twists/ buns I usually just douse my hair in almond oil or this amazing Organics Olive Oil stuffs. Then after a day or two, I wash my hair – dont comb it!! – and then just ‘scrunch’ in about two big globs of Be Curly, and let my hair air dry and voila!

Ive also just discovered the Organics Hair Mayo.  Damn that stuff works good. But its like a deep conditioner. Only do that once every few weeks or so.

So I’m gonna try Mixed Chicks. I’ll let you know how it goes!

UPDATE:  

22 responses

  1. I tried to find your email but I am not seeing it; this comment isn’t directed specifically at the hair post, although I appreciated it very much.
    I am an adoptive parent of a biracial child and I have been reading your blog for the past few months.
    Thank you for what you do. I know that my role isn’t something you would sanction but you need to know how very much I appreciate your blog and PLEASE keep up what you do, it is so important. Every single day I work to be aware of how my son will be percieved, and how he will grow up in this world and I am scared every single day how I am going to fail him. Reading your posts are oftentimes painful for me, not, I am quite certain, as painful as they are for you to have to write- but I read. If it wasn’t hard, I wouldn’t be getting the point, right? So thank you.

    November 17, 2006 at 9:23 am

  2. Sheila

    I love this post!! Hair is a major topic of interest to me not only as an TRAP (my daughter’s hair is abundant, fine, tight curl too) but with my adult friends who are mixed. We love to do hair and talk about hair and try new products. We have been using Organics and lately discovered Ouidad Waterworks to get rid of hard water and chlorine residue. Will try both these new products!
    Love,
    Sheila

    November 17, 2006 at 11:10 am

  3. Interesting post. I ran into your blog while surfing, it’s quite interesting.

    November 19, 2006 at 1:55 pm

  4. justme

    hey — just to let you know AVEDA is coming out with Be curly shampoo and conditioner in January. If you love the Be Curly you are going to LOVe the shampoo/conditioner.

    November 20, 2006 at 9:33 am

  5. Julie

    Hair, hair, hair, hair — don’t get me started on hair for black women, full or mixed race. I am nearing 50 YEARS OLD and I STILL fuss with my hair, cuss out my hair, try new hair products, try new hair sylists, try to make it ‘behave’. Not that I don’t try (‘cuz I really do) to remember that all my “hair issues” are so much excess baggage dumped on me by good old American racism, and that I don’t have to keep carrying around all these raggedy old suitcases. But still — to this minute — I remember just about every one of the ‘good hair, bad hair’ comments, remember being 12 and trying to press every last inch of curl out of what was on my head, and feeling ashamed (yup — you read that right: SHAME) when the curl came back. I wish I knew how much time, money, and emotional energy black women spend on our hair. Not sure what I’d do with the information — maybe just know that I’m not the craziest sister out there . . .

    November 20, 2006 at 12:02 pm

  6. kim

    Lisa Marie-

    Sister. I am so new at trying to find my way around all the doors of the blog. I keep coming back to you, to hear your voice, to hear what the issues are from a member of the community that I do not know much about at all. I found your contact w/BM post just today.

    I am grateful, and filled up in so many ways by your sharing.

    Your hair piece is useful, too, as my daughters have completely different hair issues from me, having a superfine-then-wavy kind of thing. Mine is more of a ‘you may as well shoot me as put a comb in my hair.’ I will try some of your suggestions above for both them and myself.

    Listening to you in your YouTube link above, I could hear my daughter, a few years back, when she was six (she is now eight), explaining to me how much she loves a curling creme I kept in the bathroom called ‘Beautiful,’ because, as she said, “it just makes my hair feel the best, Mommy.” I had no such creme, and finally went to look at the bottle: FUBU. The line was discontinued almost as soon as it came out, but worked really well on my hair- uncombed and napfroed for about twenty years now.

    If you ever have reason to be so far south you’re just above the international border, and you’re doing a reading or speaking in forum, do please let me know.

    November 21, 2006 at 2:05 pm

  7. I was a little wierded out by this post – putting myself out there with my hair ‘issues’ like that.. lol.. hope this post helps – I’ve got another one coming about the hair when I get home. The Mixed-Chicks hasnt worked out since I posted this… back to my amazing Be Curly! thanks for comments you guys!

    November 22, 2006 at 10:38 am

  8. connie

    i’ve been meaning to go buy me some ‘mixed chicks’ for a coupla weeks now but you may just be my consumer report! your tips are so tight, the most poignant moment when i met my birth mom was when she took me into the bathroom at sixteen years old and did my hair without comment, complaint, or crisis. it was another ten years before someone told me to stop washing my hair every damn day, and since i’ve dropped that habit i’ve come much closer to peace with my mange. do guide books exist for adoptive parents of children coming from other races? not that i know of, sadly there might be quite a market out there…

    November 29, 2006 at 1:52 pm

  9. hey~thanks for the hair tips. im not mixed but they really came in handy.i tried aveda be curly and it works wonders for my natural hair =) thanks again.

    December 8, 2006 at 9:09 pm

  10. I’m late to this (computer crash has me stalled on blog-catch-up) but wanted to thank you for the product tips and it was nifty seeing you and your gorgeous head of hair!

    Connie, your comment made me tear up. What a beautiful mother/daughter moment!

    Madison’s hair is too loose yet to hold many styles so everyday we spend our time braiding (except for days when she wants to wear it “poofy” with a barrette up to to keep it out of her eyes– and that’s what she said when I showed her your YouTube — “Oooh! Pretty and poofy!” Hers is down now, too, so then she shook her mane at you!) and working on getting her parts straight. (I’m getting better!)

    December 19, 2006 at 3:22 pm

  11. The Aveda and Organics works wonders I agree to the fullest.

    March 23, 2007 at 5:25 pm

  12. I used Mixed Chicks for the first time last month and loved it…I am still loving it. I even use the deep conditoner alone on days when I am going straight instead of curly, but he curly look is my favorite. and Mixed Chicks does it well.

    May 28, 2007 at 9:31 pm

  13. Ashley

    Thanks I have been thinking about ordering mixed chicks. I probably will now.

    June 27, 2007 at 12:39 pm

  14. Farrah

    thank you so much for sharing this. i am mixed w/ arab black native american and a few others. i have some really tight curls and i HATE to straighten it b/c i want others to appreciate the beauty of natural hair like i do and i too poof my hair up intentionally whereas others would try to tame it. keep doing what you’re doing, your site made me even prouder to be mixed and have poofy hair. i will probably be ordering some mixed chicks in the near future.

    October 10, 2007 at 11:57 pm

  15. Pamela

    Thank you, thank you! I am the mother(I am white) of 2 beautiful mixed daughters. My oldest is just turning 4 this month and I was a day away from chemicaly straightening her hair when I found your sight. She and I are so stressed out over the issue of doing her hair. We battle and I do mean battle when it’s time to do her hair and it breaks my heart. I KNOW there has to be a better way. And I just felt like I couldnt put her thru another episode. So my husband and I talked and decided that not knowing what else to do we would try to straighten it. Deep down I dont want to take that step. I feel she is too young, her hair is BEAUTIFUL and I feel that is something you have to be commited to once you start. So I came across your sight when out of a last moment of despairation I googled “doing mixed girl hair” and up pops your sight. I cant tell you how it helps just knowing that I am not alone. Then to know there was someone willing to share information … well all I can say is thank you. I do see that there have not been any posts of recent date and I am hoping that you have not stoped bloggin.

    September 19, 2008 at 1:49 pm

  16. Rachel

    My daughter is 9 and she is native american and black, yes she is very beautiful!!! I am still struggling with her hair. She has ALOT of very fine small tight curls. I thought we have used everything under the sun but after reading i guess we havent and thanks for the advice from everybody. I will try the aveda and am probably gonna order the mixed chicks stuff too. thanks again and wish us luck :). keep it up!

    October 6, 2008 at 8:21 pm

  17. “for Mixed Hair” For Bi-racial and Hispanic, Asian, Caucasian and African-American textures.

    From curly to straight to natural to curly to natural to straight

    We are proud to introduce our new product: “for Mixed Hair”. Blow Straightening Lotion is one product in our new system line designed to straighten Bi-racial Hispanic, Asian, and Caucasian, African-American hair textures. After using it, you will notice that the hair has visible shine, body and is totally conditioned. The conditioning formulas also give you more cuticle closure and swell reduction, which keeps the integrity of the hair strong and intact.

    Use the entire system to straighten and smooth curls, soften and protect from frizzy and hard to manage hair, while natural botanical extracts help to condition, add shine, and moisturize, leaving hair smooth and silky straight.

    July 30, 2009 at 2:06 pm

  18. my hair is more fluffy and curly than that and all i did was take a shower, braid my hair when its wet(my entire head)and went to sleep and took out my braids. Then there you go!

    February 6, 2010 at 9:04 am

  19. amy

    WOW!REALLY SHELBY!? I WILL SOOO TRY THAT CUZ I BE GETTIN TIRED OF USING THESE PRODUCTS. THX FOR THE TRICK!DO YOU HAV ANY TIPS?1

    February 6, 2010 at 9:25 am

  20. i sure do! after you put your hair in braids (at night)put some hair moose on each indivivdual braid. oh and take your braids out in the morning when you get up!

    February 6, 2010 at 9:27 am

  21. amy

    WOW! THX! BYE!

    February 6, 2010 at 9:29 am

  22. No problem! i got to eat breakfast sooo your welcome sweetie bye!

    February 6, 2010 at 9:30 am

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