Because I am a “trans-racial” adoptee, I have always known I am adopted. I have technically been searching since 1993, but I’ve always get into these patterns where I obsess for a while and then stop. I work diligently – write letters, call people and email like mad for about a month or two but then it seems like the intensity dies down for about two years. But as I get older, the times inbetween have been getting closer and closer. And this past year, its gotten to where its when i get any moment free, i’m attending to the search.
I was born at ******Hospital in Renton, WA. King County, March 9, 1970. (or March 8th.. I’ll get to that later)
I already mentioned washington state laws regarding adoption files. Basically, even as an adult, I have no access to my adoption files. There apparently are two copies – One at the Department of Children Services at Remann Hall in Tacoma Washington. The other is in Olympia in the state archives. Because i was adopted through public services, I am fortunate to have both of these files. The state of washington holds these files and will not allow me to see them except under two circumstances. The first, is a court order from a judge. The reasons could be medical or whatever. The second is if I hire the services of what is called a “Confidential Intermeidary” (or a CI). The CI would then go to the court where my files are held, open them up, find my birth families names and do a search for them. Once they find my birth parents, they contact them, and ask them if they want to meet me. The birth parents say yes/no and that’s that.
What happens if I decide that I dont want a CI to handle my search for me? What if i would like the responsibility of calling my birth family MYSELF? What if i want to be the person on the phone who gets hung up on or told never to call back? Well, even if i would like to make this decision – the state of WA has made it for me.
I choose NOT to hire a total stranger to handle my business!
now – dont get me wrong – on many levels I can sympathize and identify with birth parents who dont want to be found, who never told anyone about their relinquishment, or who were shamed into thinking that having a kid back then was bad. There is a level of pain, sorrow and guilt that i’m sure i know nothing about!
but if thats the way it is and the family wants nothing to do with me – say for example the birth father or mother never told thier new families or they never told ANYONE – its going to be a disruption in their lives. Yes, truely – im sympathetic. But I dont care. If they dont want to see me or talk to me – let them tell ME.
In my particular situation however, it was my birth father who did not want to give me up. My adoptive parents told me that I came to them in June 1970. I wasnt adopted until June 1971 because the birth father refused to sign the relingushment papers. If he didn’t want to sign – why did he? Was he forced? I’m interested to know. So the possibility of someone actually being interesting in knowing who and where I am is certainly there.
The lawyer who finalized the adoption on my adoptive parents side is Davies Pearson in Tacoma. In 1970, however they were called, Vincent Gadbow and Pearson or something. My adoptive parents and I drove over to Davies Pearson one day i think it was around Summer 2000, and we ran into a lawyer there who offered help, but never came through. Eventually I think it came to some bullshit like “the files are in storage somewhere”. I recently wrote them to ask how much it would cost to hire someone to go freakin find them. (of course i was much more polite🙂 ) I havent heard back.
I have two documents from 1970. One is a medical release from King County DHCS (now called something else) and the other is medical information from a visit to the doctor in March 1970. The doctor visit is a 6 week checkup that has the most information I have. It has some racial information.
birth mother is “Filipino-Caucasian”
birth father is “Mexican-Irish”
There’s no information about me being black (african) but you can make that call – (check the photo —>)
LOL! My theory on that one is that in the 70’s there was a large number of Asian adoptions, both legally and on the black market. And since my adoptive parents asked for an “Asian mix” (wince) I was packaged just for them!
In 1999, I recieved what is called “non-identifying information” from Remann Hall. This information was insightful, but conflicted with that previous document from 1970. More soon!