Greetings all! This blog will do nothing but attend to the work of finding my birth parents. Its a bit self-indulgent, I admit, but I wanted people who were also searching to watch, get tips and ideas about how a search happens. This blog will not only talk about the details, but will attempt to interrogate the emotional leaps and falls that will inevitably be a part of this process.
For those of you that are unaware – for folks who are adopted before 1991 in washington state – no matter how old you are – you cant access your real birth certificate. While I realize this is a sensitive issue for birth mothers who do not want to be found, I find it appaling that it is actually against the LAW for adults to know their origins.
I have always said one of the best things about my life is that i have the power to write my story in almost any way i wish. True – but lately things like this image – have been bothering me. Notice anything interesting about that? My feet are there . . . but there’s nothing in the family history sections. hmmmm
the forest is magic, but it
hides secrets of me
blank family history
lost identity
Other things have come to my attention – the large number of Korean adoptees by whites in the US during the late 1960’s and early 70’s. And the current disgusting movements by well-meaning americans wanting to adopt those ‘poor’ kids from the tsunami – someone called the americans ‘vultures’. I agree.
why do I agree? when i seem like such a nice gurl? when i come from such a good family? didn’t i have a good life? Lets research that together.. shall we?
i look forward to our time together! 🙂
A Birth Project 
Girl…you got some big ole feet! Good luck in your search! If you need my help let me know, ok!–>
I love your blog, because I’m searching for unique articles, and good content, what I’m interested in.
Congrats!
Wow, you are terrific and I love your blog. Thanks for visiting mine and posting a comment so I could find yours.
Good luck in your serach. I found my birthmother with a phone call after 21 years!
I love what I’ve read thus far – look forward to reading the rest.
Possum.
(Aussie adoptee)
I don’t understand this “vulture” concept. I’ve never adopted but hope to one day and it seems right to want to help children who are in need, where ever and whomever they may be. Please do not think I’m trying to criticize or insult, and just looking for a deeper explanation.
well, I think you don’t adopt because “there are children in need”. YOu adopt because you want to have a family through adoption, because blood ties are not important for you.
Hey,
I found your blog via a search my partner was conducting for fellow blogging dark people. You were in the sidebar of Christopher B’s blog “Race has nothing to do with you”. I’ve known quite a few Black wimmin raised by white people over the years. It’s quite a “project” in kkkanada where I live. I wasn’t adopted. I was simply abandoned by parents who still exist. 🙂 Different drama. Different story. I’d like to put your blog in my sidebar and hope you’ll come visit mine, too. Thanks for speaking clear, with an analysis and with hope. darkdaughta
I hope you’ll forgive the intrusion . . . I am an adult adoptee (although not in a cross-cultural/cross-racial situation, though) and I just got the news tonight that my birthfather died last week (I have known my birthmother for almost 18 years, and met my birthfather and had contact with him for a few years). The funeral is tomorrow . . . it’s a ten-hour drive from here . . . I would go in a minute, but I’m scheduled to fly to see a friend in Canada on Wednesday–thinking about driving one-way, changing my plane ticket and flying from there.
I am not sure what I’ll decide to do, but I just feel the need to connect with folks who understand my desire to be there . . . and my sense that I have a *right* to be there.
laterain – your email is SO not an intrusion! I just want to send you some love and some support! you should TOTALLY claim the space to go and do what you need to do. Sometimes our instincts are the best thing for us. What happens later if you dont go? Will you regret it? GO!!!! and keep us posted on how it went.
Hello Lisa Marie,
I’m sorry because this comment is not directly toward your post. I am hoping, however, that you will take the time to read this, and make a future post based on the following information.
My name is Myriam, I am a French adoptee born in Korea and I am currently interning at the Global Overseas Adoptees’ Link (GOA’L), located in Seoul, South Korea. I am writing to you with intentions of both providing you with information on, as well as asking for your assistance with our current campaign.
As you may already know, GOA’L has been supporting overseas adoptees born in Korea since 1998. We are now lobbying for overseas adoptees’ right to hold a dual citizenship.
At the bottom, I will include a link leading toward documents about our campaign. There is an information package which contains the specific details about our campaign. Within, issues such as military service and tax responsibilities are outlined. The second document is the petition form. We are hoping to obtain 50,000 signatures by December 2008. To reach this goal, we are contacting organizations and individuals connected with Korea, or with adoption in general, in order to get their help, as this is an issue that could concern all adoptees in the world who are denied dual citizenship. We hope to set a precedent so that other countries forbidding dual nationality could also liberalize their legislation.
We would greatly appreciate your support in this campaign. The info package and sign sheet are available at this address:
http://goal.or.kr/eng/?slms=room&lsms=1&sl=6&ls=17
You may also contact us at campaign.goal@gmail.com
Thank you so much!
Myriam Cransac
Campaign Coordinator
A lot of our work overlaps. I am Afro German and just recently found my birth father. I am actively involved in the Afro German movement and activism both in Germany (the country where I was born and raised) and here in the US. I look forward to reading more of your blog and getting to know you.
Cheers,
Kathrin
This is some painful stuff.. I stumbled on your website in search of my birth family and the tears started flowing.. I’m so proud of your courage to search, expose, address this issue in such a powerful way.. Keep doing your ‘thang’ sista!
I stumbled upon your website while searching for information about fostering and adopting Haitian children (assuming there will be a large scale “baby lift”) I am a white parent of an eight year old Chinese daughter, and two biological boys. I am a licensed foster parent who would love to help some of the Haitian children. Our community is very white, and my children do stand out…and I am proud of them and our family and hope that we can be a light for people in our community. Thank you for opening my mind to what my daughter might feel like growing up in a white family. Right now she proud of who she is and her birth culture…I need to know how to keep her confident. Also, thank you for your realism as we are considering adopting another child. I hope that I’m making sense :). Thank you!!!
I m amazed to know how much of information I gained on this subject. I m so very thankful of you. One thing I can say that, after reading this article I got saved from the entire useless search I should have conducted on this matter. Your article is a real blessing in disguise.
Wow, Ellen, read more. please. you don’t need to be part of a large scale baby lift. you have already been part of one. better marshal your resources in seeing that those children can stay in their country and work to build it back up again. don’t rob the country of its children when its at its lowest point.
I certainly empathize with your frustration at not being able to view your original birth certificate. As an adult adoptee [Caucasion/Caucasion – the only thing “mixed” was the meticulously matched religious split between both my adoptive parents [Jewish father/Protestant mother] and my natural parents,] I was told by a law school professor in the late ’70’s that only mentally ill adoptees felt a strong need to see their original birth certificates ! [I found my natural parents soon after that but, thirty years later, I have still not been able to view my original birth certificate, even though I have learned all the information it could possibly contain, and then some.]
NOt trying to step on anyones toes..but just wanted to add my 2 cents..I don’t think Anne was trying to “rob” a country of their children and I don’t think she was trying to swoop in as a “vulture”. I think she saw children who have been orphaned, with no one to call mommy and wanted to be able to love them and give them a family. I think that alot of intentions are misread, I see alot of posts about “poor white people who can’t have babies” how is an orphan supposed to stay in a country and help build it back up if they are only a few years old? where do they sleep and eat until they are old enough.. or do they live long enough to be old enough to help? I think she was just trying to be a mommy to someone that needed a mommy, I think her intentions are beautiful. I have 2 biological children and I have an adopted African American daughter, This blog is enlightening and I’m thankful that I have the chance to read this side of the story..My daughter is the light of our lives. I wasn’t trying to “save” her, swoop in like a vulture and “steal” her, or “buy” her. Her mother surrendered her rights to be her parent, she needed a mommy, we loved her, she loved us.. I can’t see where that is so hard to understand. There isn’t a child on this earth that is loved more by her mommy, daddy, brother and sister than she is.. and that is what matters. Like I said, I like this blog, I want to read more so that I am not blind to how my daughter may be feeling one day, this will help me alot, I just think that alot of AP’s get a bad rep. and that our motives are either to save a child and look like a hero, or that we are just unable to make babies so we buy them, instead of considering the fact that there are thousands of children with no one to call mommy and daddy, do we just let them stay orphaned if there isn’t someone of their same race to adopt them..Isn’t a white mommy and daddy better than NO mommy and daddy?? just a bit confused and sad by some of the views on this. 😦
I Meant Ellen wasn’t trying to rob a country of it’s children..in response to Anne’s post.
Love your blog.
i am white. my husband is vietnamese. we have two beautiful little girls. i want to adopt at least one african boy from ethiopia. why? because they are the lowest on the list for being adopted…everyone wants a girl.
should i not adopt then, because my future son might not understand where he came from? because he might not be there to help build his country back up? because a white woman could never possibly be able to educate her african son about his country, culture, and where he is from?
give me more credit than that, please, as a mother…not because i am white, purple, black, or orange, but because i am a mother. and i desire to care for a child who needs a loving home…to help give them a better future than what they have now.
it doesn’t sound like many of the people commenting on this blog (including the author) have children of their own. or are educated about what is going on africa today (ever heard of the lost boys of sudan?) those children lost their families, and were left for dead. they watched each other die…but americans are ‘vultures’ for wanting to adopt children who need homes? if you had your own children, you would see other children differently…not as black/white/pink/blue, but as children, with their own past and history and culture, but still children, who are innocent and need to be loved and nutured.
Hey there “prospective mama”. Thanks for coming by and for commenting. I would encourage you to read my bio and see what my education is. 🙂 Also, I am one of ‘those children’ of which you speak. I am an adoptee. No one ever argues against children needing love or a good home. My work here is to educate prospective parents such are yourself on the challenges of adopting across race and the importance of you educating yourself about what it means to be a person of color in the United States, and to challenge ‘colorblindness’. I and thousands of adoptees have been writing for many years about the pain we experienced in our lives because our parents did not acknowledge race. I hope that you will want to be the best parent you can be too, and find ways to best prepare your children from the pain and ugliness of racism – and additionally, not shield them away from the beauty of race and culture. I hope you’ll hang out and read some more!
Dear Lisa Marie,
Your blog has been a blessing to me. I am an adoptee who found her birth family a few years ago.
My adoptive parents raised me as white. They never bothered to tell me my mother is a registered Native American tribal member. It’s been quite an adjustment finding out what a lie I had lived for most of my life.
Keep up the good fight!
I really love your site.. Great colors & theme.
Did you create this amazing site yourself?
Please reply back as I’m trying to create my own blog and want to find out where you got this from or exactly
what the theme is named. Many thanks!
You could certainly see your skills in the article you write.
The arena hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid
to mention how they believe. Always follow your heart.
Very nice blog post. I absolutely appreciate this
website. Stick with it!
Hey there! I’ve been reading your site for some time now and finally got the courage to
go ahead and give you a shout out from Austin Tx!
Just wanted to say keep up the excellent work!
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