Talk show and Upcoming Shows

yay! Ive got 4 upcoming shows of “Ungrateful Daughter”! I hope if you haven’t had a chance to see it – that you will be able to come out and support. I’ve re-written a few sections and updated some. The first two are at the end of this month in SF and the last two are in October in the East Bay. Dates TBA.

San Franciso Solo Festival
“Ungrateful Daughter”
Friday, September 29, 10pm
Sunday October 1, 8:30pm
at –
Off-Market Theatre in SF – 965 Mission St. (btwn 5th and 6th) Parking near Metreon at 5th and Mission or you can take the BART, exit Powell and walk the 3 blocks.

to buy tickets –  and for information about ALL the solo shows in the festival go to hope to see you there!! and if I don’t know you, feel free to walk up after the show and say hi. Tell me you read the blog. Tell me you liked the show.. or not. 🙂  

I’m also beginning to develop the next section. The first two sections have been primarily about my Afamily and my struggles as a child and adult attempting to deal with race. This next section is going to tackle some aspects of adoption in a bit more direct way that includes race of course as an overriding connection, but will also try to work through of of the issues I’ve been dealin with since finding the Bmom. (I know, I know.. I havent given you all an update on that in a while.. I promise its coming.)

On another note – Did I tell you I got called and invited to be on a talk show? Yeah i know. My first reaction was . . . HELL NO! But I’m doing some research on it and taking it under consideration. But seriously – Can you see it now?

Host:so, lisamarie, you were adopted at 3 months by a white family. Was your experience a good or bad thing?

Me:well, hostlady, it wasn’t either/ or, it was really just a complex thing. I think we have to be really careful when we discuss TRA experiences as to not just categorize them into these two little ‘ways of being’. Its wrong to simply say “Here’s a TRA with a bad experience, she had bad parents, she is not well adjusted to life, she fees unfulfilled and negative.” Or on the other hand to simply say “here’s a TRA with a good experience, she had good parents, she is well adjusted, she feels fulfilled and is thankful and grateful for her life.”

Host: well, which one are you?

Me:ummmmmm . . . I think i just explained that I’m neither and I’m both.

Host:come on lisa marie. what does that really mean? You mentioned to our producers that you parents still, even as you are an adult say and do racist stuff – I mean, this has to bother you. can you talk about that to us for a little bit?

Me: well, of course it bothers me, but I feel the same way about any white person or any person really who doesn’t attend to the way that race shapes their world. My struggle with my parents is about their inability to want to understand racism. Its much easier for white people to move through the world without being concerned with race.

Host: so really you’re angry about your parents being white, but would you have rather been left in an orphanage and to grow up in the foster care system? Would that have been better?

Me: (sigh)


Host: Sooooo lisamarie, as I understand it – you are a product of rape. How does that make you feel? (shoves the mic in my face)


Host: Sooooo, lisamarie, I understand that you haven’t been able to find your birthfather because since you are a product of rape, he didn’t know you existed.Well, have we got a surprise for you! We found your father and he’s here on the show!!… come on out John Doe!!! (me flabbergasted, jumping up and grabbing the mic cord to wrap around her neck…)

I suppose my question to the producers is – how can you guarantee that your show will be different and will be willing to actually display the truth about TRA lives? Are you seriously willing to end on a note that doesn’t replicate the same crap about ‘love conquers all’ or ‘race doesn’t matter’ or even resist making the show more about the parents than about the kids? I know that nowdays many AP’s are willing to go places that AP’s couldnt go 30 years ago, but from what I’ve seen, Im not sure how much has changed. Sure, AP’s have alot more resources, they are really required on some even tiny level to consider what it means to adopt a child of color, but how many of them really are willing to change their lives?

I don’t know how I feel about the talk show and for some reason it feels way, way different than me doing my show. I suppose because I would feel like I wasn’t in control of editing, writing, framing.. etc.. and also because I’m such a critic of media. I dont want something like the NYTimes article to endup being as deep as they go. Are they willing to push? (god lisamarie, why does everything always have to be about race with you?)

We’ll see. You wanna come with me?


4 thoughts on “Talk show and Upcoming Shows

  1. Oh wow, Lisamarie. I can’t even imagine (but I’m grateful that you did, here. I would most certainly be worried about editing, and commercial breaks, and audience preparation (just a few of the things I observed somewhat amusedly in an audience once – but this was only because the stakes were quite low). Wish I could see your show someday, even as I know that it would blow me away.

  2. yes, want to come with you.

    I know it is hard to talk about being adopted, very hard for me, terrifyiing, I think anyone who talks about it is very brave.

    Adding you to my links

  3. Hey brave lady Lisamarie,
    Could you say that if they want you, they have to make time for a clip of your show as well? Or a **ive* performance during the show? That way at least that part of your authentic voice would be sure to come out, no matter what they do with the rest of the show!
    I had the awful experience of being interviewed by George Will once, and he twisted around everything I said. Still I’m glad I did it and only wish I had said more, said it faster, louder, whatever it took to make the most of those 15 seconds of media coverage. I think you should go for it. What you have to say is IMPORTANT!
    But you know what, you’re getting your voice out your own way too, so if they don’t seem respectful, let ’em go.

  4. Dang, the talk show poses all sorts of dillemmas. I shudder to think of how it could be turned into an exploitative circus, or just a trainwreck of all sorts of ignorant questions.

    I would come and sit in the live audience, or just back you up and wear the T-shirt.

    Congrats and good luck with all the upcoming performances! Everybody go see this woman’s show. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry. I know I did. (P.S. I have a review for your show handwritten in a notebook! I’ll type it up and send it to you soon. Don’t worry; it’s all good.)

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