Black Women and Asian Men

I support love in all its forms! Check this new film. My people.

 For more information on the film –  www.

For a conversation about ‘dating in or outside the race’ or ‘race- fetish’ dating – check this conversation over at Racialicous.


5 Question Interview Meme

I, too – am an egomanic and, apparently, a major procrastinator. I’ve been hit up to do this interview meme by my gurl Susan over at ReadingWritingLiving. If you are interested in having me hit you with 5 questions – let me know and I will write 5 questions for you!

1. I have not seen you in the classroom, but I bet you are an awesome teacher. What kinds of things do you like to do with your students; what engages them in your classroom?

I have to say, I freakin love teaching and I’m actually kind of bitter about classes or workshops I take now with horrible teachers. Mostly because I’m convinced my success/ failure in school at all levels (kindergarten through my PhD work) has been incredibly impacted by my instructors. I am convinced that one of the major things that makes a great teacher is the ability to understand yourself as also in a constant state of learning. I am an ‘expert’ to an extent on many issues, but there are many more things to which i have no experience or knowledge. It is my belief that instructors who shut themselves off from learning from their students, actually close doors that can lead to their students making powerful, critical connections.

hell.. I can talk about this forever.

2. I know that you are AKA “Ungrateful Daughter.” But you strike me as being a very joyful person. What are you grateful for in your life?

ha! Another long ass answer. I am grateful for the love and support from my family. When I say “family”, I mean not only my immediate family, but my partner, my best girl friends, my creative family, my writing family, my TRA familia – all them. Because when I say ‘ love and support’, I dont just mean it in that cheesy Hallmark way. I mean these people surround me with this incredible amount of love that I KNOW is what keeps me going when I feel like all i want to do is hide in my room for weeks. I am loved. I can do anything because my family believes in me. I can fly . . . want a ride?

3. If you could listen to only three songs for the rest of your life, what would they be?

Since Im a huge music lover and I support live local music, attend a ridiculous amount of performances – thats a hard ass question. How about 3 albums? (1)Zap Mama’s “Ancestry in Progress”, (2) Etta James “At Last” and (3) Miles Davis – anything. (but damn.. what about Mos Def and Ledesi? this is too hard!!)

4. If your adoptive family could know one thing about you that they do not know, what would it be?

Wow. I think they know alot about me already! Maybe that I love them (they know that tho!) ok.. maybe that even thought race is at the heart of some of our challenges as a family, addressing it head on and acknowledging it does nothing to change the fact that we ARE a family with a common history, shared memories and a deep love for one another.

5. If your birth family could know one thing about you that they do not know, what would it be?

That I dont want anything from them except stories, photographs and a history that I can pass to my own children. I hope they will be willing to open themselves to me as a presence in their lives. It doesnt need to be a constantly visible, constantly ‘there’ presence, but our shared history and blood ties us together. We have to figure out ways to have all of our needs as individuals met when it comes to this complicated situation. In other words, it aint all about you. 

Thank you!

Ive been gone for a few days. Taking a brief, but much needed vacation after TRA camp, then returning back after a great event for AFAAD. We had a good turnout and got our first donations! The film went over really well and we had adoptees, AP’s, siblings and foster parents come out and participate in the discussion. It was a great day! Thank you thank you to everyone who came and for those who gave donations to help us get up and running. Thanks of course to our amazing panelists Connie Galambos, Julia Oparah, Malaika Parker.

Things are cool over here at Ungrateful Daughter home base. Im gearing up for school to start again, and this will be my final year, Im detemined to focus all my energy on getting this dissertation finished! I’m unfortunately going to have to skim back some of the performance work I’ve been doing, but I hope it will only be for about 5 months or so. I MUST get done. Im tired of this thing hanging over my head, Im tired of being at UCB, Im tired of not having any kind of decent income and Im tired of not being able to write what I want to write. I want a house and a garden for heavens sake! Its not too much to ask. And yes, I think because I have no kids, I can afford a house in the Bay area. Watch me. I just need a big enough back yard to have my wild flower garden, my veggie garden and my herb garden! Ok.. so I want about 2 acres.. but Im willing to deal. lol.

Im thinking about all my TRA friends over in Korea right now – Im totally jealous and cant wait until AFAAD is pushing with full steam and making conference connections in the Caribbean and Africa! My heart is with you.